


It's All in the Mind

by LadiesLoveLoki



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 08:47:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3603861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadiesLoveLoki/pseuds/LadiesLoveLoki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She’d thought that Tom Hiddleston, the SHIELD Agent that had swooped in and pulled her out of her normal life, had been assigned to protect her.  But she was in for a shock; the man who had almost died to keep her alive was working for HYDRA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's All in the Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is, my HYDRAAgentTom fic!! I was watching Agents of SHIELD and upon thinking back on everything that happened with Agent Ward, I had a hankering for HYDRAAgentTom. I picture HYDRAAgentTom is exactly the same as JaguarTom. This was the result. Not all that much in the way of smut, but it’s there. I didn’t expect this fic to be as long as it turned out to be, but potty brilliance happened.

She wrapped her arms around herself as she looked out the window of the secluded mansion she was imprisoned in.  She tried so hard to keep herself as emotionless as possible, but it was impossible.

She couldn’t believe it.  The man that had been assigned to protect her from HYDRA…an organization she’d never even  _heard_ of until he’d come into her life…was a bloody HYDRA agent!!

The man whose wounds she’d tended to in the secluded safe house that they had retreated to after they’d been attacked by other HYDRA agents.  The man she’d made the mistake of falling for; the man she’d allowed to  _touch_  her.  

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying desperately to will the memory away, but it came, unbidden, anyway.

 

*~*~*~*

 

_They’d just barely managed to get to the large safe house before the snowstorm hit and snowed them in.  Being a volunteer in her local hospital, it had helped her to not only have the strength to heave him into the fully stocked cabin and upstairs into a bed in a spare bedroom, but to also have been taught just enough to be able to tend to him.  She had to cut his jacket, shirt and tie away and tend to the gunshot wound in his shoulder.  Thankfully, it was a flesh wound, and as far as she knew, the bullet hadn’t hit any major blood vessels, so he would be fine; he’d just be tender for a while._

_She’d decided to go to his room a few hours later to look over the wound on his shoulder and some bullet grazes on his other shoulder and arm before she went to bed._

_She knocked on the door and peeked in. He was sitting on the bed, bare from the waist up.  He hadn’t changed out of his slacks just yet._

_“Time to change your bandages”, she said quietly._

_Without a word, he nodded, running a hand through his hair._

_She came up, fresh bandages and other wound care supplies in hand, and slowly took off the soiled ones.  In order to get at the wound better, she stood in front of him, between his knees as he sat on the bed._

_“You got lucky”, she murmured. “Straight through…and no nicked blood vessels or shattered bones.  You’ll just be sore for a while.”_

_She finished tending to the bullet wound in his shoulder, then tended to the grazes.  When she was finished, she looked at his face, and gasped._

_He was staring at her with such intensity that it was taking her breath away._

_They stared at each other for what seemed like the longest time, but in reality it was only a few moments.  She shivered when she felt his fingertips on her thighs, moving upward, under the nightgown she was wearing that she hadn’t remembered grabbing when she was told to ‘pack a bag’.  Perhaps it had been balled up in between two of her shirts._

_His breathing was heavy as his intense gaze moved over her face to concentrate on her lips.  His tongue darted out to wet his own lips as his fingertips moved higher to stroke the flesh of her hips over her knickers._

_He was an Agent…she knew this shouldn’t happen…that he should not lose his focus because of her.  She tried to move, but his hands gripped her hips to keep her still._

_“W-we shouldn’t”, she whispered, averting her eyes from his gaze.  She turned back to him when she felt one of his hands lift from her hips and run through her long, long hair.  The same hand turned her face to look back at him._

_He never said a word.  His fingertips traced over her cheek and her jaw, and his thumb moved over her lips._

_“Y-your shoulder…” she protested weakly.  But she knew; she knew she was already gone._

_Their lips met in a heated kiss, his arms wrapping around her and holding her to his body.  She was still standing between his legs.  She wrapped her arms around him, while his arms tightened around her._

_Their lips parted only for her to gasp when she was lifted and basically tossed over his shoulder onto the bed.  He moved over her and sealed his lips to her neck, making her moan and arch her back into him.  She squirmed under his touch as his hands slid up her body under her nightgown to cup and squeeze her breasts._

_“T-Tom…” she squeaked._

_He growled against her throat, his hands giving her breasts one more hearty squeeze before sliding down to rid her of her knickers with a sharp tug.  He tossed aside the now useless fabric and ground his sizeable bulge into her soft core._

_Her name left his lips in a desperate whisper.  His groan lifted in volume when her hands started working his belt buckle._

_She barely remembered undoing his trousers.  One moment she was struggling with the buckle, and the next he had buried himself deep into her, and was moving in long, hard and strong strokes._

_She wrapped her legs around him, angling her hips so he could move deeper.  All she could do was cling to him as he filled her so completely, and drove in so mercilessly._

_“S-Selenna…” he panted, gritting his teeth when her muscles clenched and unclenched on him causing his hips to drive even harder.  His hand moved between their bodies to press down and rub the sensitive bundle of nerves._

_That was her undoing.  She shrieked, her hips bucking and jerking wildly, as his thrusts started to become erratic.  A few more savage thrusts later, he was spilling into her._

*~*~*~*~*

There had been nothing for them to do but wait until the storm abated so they could try to clear the snow, so they spent most of that time romping in bed together.  

She shook her head, trying hard to clear her mind of those memories.  Her hands came up to massage her temples, for she could feel a headache coming on.  She dared not touch anything in this lavishly furnished room.  Nor did she dare to undress to change into the clothes that had been provided for her.  She didn’t know if there were cameras in this room, watching her.  

So all she did was stare out the window at the swirling snow.  She didn’t even bother with the fireplace, so the room was very icy; her breath misted slightly with each exhale.  She cursed herself for her preference for skirts over pants.  She rubbed her legs together to try to warm them up.

She didn’t know how long she’d been standing at the window.  She heard a noise after a while, and turned to the door that had just been opened.  A scowl marred her face at the person who’d just entered.

“Miss Creedy”, Tom purred smoothly.  

He was wearing a black suit, with a black button down shirt underneath. He’d removed the black tie that had gone with it, and had the first three buttons unbuttoned.  He looked around at the dark room, and furrowed his brow at the dark fireplace.  He tsked scoldingly before removing his blazer and gun holster and putting it on the chair before going up to the fireplace.  He rolled up his sleeves to his elbows before getting to work.

She gritted her teeth and turned back to the window, trying very hard to ignore just how delicious he looked in all black.

“There we are”, Tom said, the hearth now blazing merrily.  He stood to his full height and looked over at her.  

Her silhouette was framed against the lights that were shining on the grounds of the mansion.  It took all he had not to pant and salivate like a rabid dog as he slowly walked up behind her, and placed his hands on her arms.  He inhaled her scent, long and slow, while his lips brushed her earlobe.

“You’re shivering.”

She wrenched herself from his grip and stepped back away from him, her eyes glaring daggers at him.  “Don’t touch me”, she hissed.  

“Now Darling, such hostility is unbecoming of one so lovely”, he said. He began to walk up to her. “Come, warm yourself by the fire.”

“I’d rather remain here, thanks”, she shot back.  

“I could carry you there”, he said warningly.  “But I’d much rather you walk there under your own power.”

She hitched her chin up defiantly without a word, her arms still wrapped around herself.

“If you insist”, he sighed.  He lunged and swept her up off her feet.  

“Put me down!!” she yelped.  She was set down in front of the fire.  

“There we are”, he purred softly, wrapping his arms around her shivering frame. “Here, let me help to warm you up.”

She wriggled in his grip, but his arms were like iron bands around her. “Let go of me”, she cried.  

His eyes twinkled devilishly as he bent to whisper in her ear.  “But darling, you weren’t saying that a few days ago, were you?”  He then started to pant and moan, pantomiming her voice.  “Oh, Tom,  _harder…_ Oh please, _harder…’_ He then began moaning ecstatically.  “Oh, yes,  _yes, **yes!!”**_ ****

She narrowed her eyes up at him as a flush crept up her cheeks.  She wriggled a bit more, finally managing to get her arm free.  That arm swung, her hand connecting with his cheek.

“Bastard”, she hissed.

His head snapped to the side, and slowly looked back at her.  A wolfish grin spread over his face as he started laughing.  

“So my shy kitten has claws”, he said, almost fondly, as his arms tightened around her.  

Her struggles began anew, while trying to block out the sound of his mocking laughter.  She swung her hand again, but he caught it and twisted it behind her back, pinning it there.  She tried to kick him, but he dodged her feet.  He growled, bending his head to bury his nose into her neck.

“Hmmmmmm”, he purred, inhaling deeply.  “You smell  _so good…”_

She shivered, trying to block out the feeling of his lips at her pulse point. Her struggles weakened until they stopped, her body leaning into him.

“Tired already?  Oh, but we have the whole night ahead of us…” he whispered. 

She’d gotten in a few deep breaths before lifting her foot and stomping down.  

He yelped, his grip loosening and giving her room to wriggle away.  She barely got two steps before she felt his arms around her again, this time from behind. 

“If you wanted to play, darling, you should have said so”, he breathed into her ear.  

She felt his hand bunch her skirt up on her thigh, then stroke the smooth and soft skin there, before moving to the inside.  

“How much did they pay to  _buy_ you?” she snarled.  “How many good agents and friends did you betray?  What was their price??”

“Wouldn’t  _you_ love to know?” he replied, his fingers hitting the apex of her thighs and stroking her slit through the fabric.  

“S-stop”, she gasped, her hips wriggling to move away from his hand. But it only served to press her into the hardened bulge that was digging into her behind.  

“But you’re already  _so wet.”_

Which was true.  As soon as she’d felt his fingers on her skin, her private flesh became infuriatingly wet.  

He groaned, pressing his fingers into her more.  “I love how you gush all over me when you come”, he hissed.  “And the way you squeeze me so hard, and your body trembles all over…”

Her knees were turning to jelly, forcing him to hold her up.  She hated that he knew exactly which of her buttons to push.  She squeezed her eyes shut, and shook her head to clear the cobwebs.  When she opened them, her gaze fell on something.

His gun.

If she could just get him worked up enough…

She gasped when she felt his fingers press on her clit through her knickers, then groaned as he ground his erection into her behind.  She felt his lips on her neck, devouring her ravenously. One of her hands moved so it was behind her, and began furiously rubbing the front of that hard bulge, making him choke.

“ _Fuck,_ Selenna…”

She felt his muscles relax ever so slightly; it was all she needed. Before he could react, she freed her arm and smashed her elbow into his sternum, and stomped on his foot again. She dove for the gun, and for a horrifying moment, it had slipped out of her grasp.  But she managed to get a hold of it, and whirled around, pointing it at him.

His eyes were darkened with lust, his face flushed.  He was panting hard.  

“Darling…put the gun down before you hurt someone”, he said.  He stepped forward, making her step back.

“Don’t move”, she said, pointing the gun steadily at him.  

“Selenna”, he growled.  “Put it down.”  He took another step, and stilled, for she had pulled back the hammer.  

“I  _will_ shoot you”, she said. “Now, you are going to answer me. What was your asking price for your allegiance?”

He didn’t say a word.  He slowly stepped forward.  When she didn’t shoot, he stepped again.  And again.

“I’m warning you…not another step”, she said, stepping back and away from him.  When he stepped again, she squeezed the trigger.  

The bullet whizzed by and hit the vase behind him.  He looked back at the ruined vase, and the hole in the wall, before looking back to her.

Lust was still blazing in his eyes.  

It was extraordinarily fucked that she was pointing a gun at him and threatening to kill him, and he still wanted to bend her over and fuck her senseless. But  _God,_ the way she felt, smelled, tasted, sounded, and looked when she came…it drove him to madness.  It always did.

However, it didn’t detract from the fact that he had to disarm her before she actually hit someone.  

But before he could, the door to the room, which she had her back to, silently opened, and three others stepped in.  All three of them were wearing suits.  

She suddenly felt herself being grabbed from behind.  A hand closed over the hand she was holding the gun with, and wrenched it, making her cry out and drop it.  Pain exploded in the back of her head, sending her to the floor.

Tom and his longtime colleague, Benedict, watched as one of the other two men used his own gun to pistol whip her in the back of the head.  

“I had thought you said you’d be able to handle her”, Benedict said amusedly, looking down at the woman.  “And here I find you having a bit of trouble.”  He looked up just in time to see Tom pointing his gun at the man who’d pistol whipped her.

She fought through the haze of pain to look up.  Tom was looking at the man who’d hit her with such a terrifying anger that she weakly tried to make herself as small as possible.  She jumped when she heard the three gunshots.  The spent shell casings dropped to the rug next to her.

Benedict blinked, for it seemed that the other man barely registered what had happened.  He’d only realized that he’d been shot when he looked down and saw the bright crimson of his blood staining his pristine white shirt.  

The man looked at Tom in confusion, before falling face first to the floor, never to move again.  

“I will only say this once”, Tom said coldly.  He pointed to the young woman on the floor.  “This one is to never… _ever…_ be harmed in  _any_ fashion…am I clear??”

“Crystal”, Benedict said, more amused than ever.  He stepped forward to go help the lady up, but he was stopped in his tracks by Tom’s icy stare.  He lifted his hands defensively.  “All right…all right, I’m stepping back, I was just stepping forward to help her up.” He took two big steps back.  

The pain in her head was so great that she barely registered what had just happened.  She whimpered pitifully, wriggling her body in her effort to move away from him, but she didn’t get far.  The last thing she saw and felt was Tom bending over her, gingerly picking her up before she blacked out.

He carried her over to the massive bed, before very slowly and gingerly placing her upon it, being mindful of her head, which seemed to have a huge bump on it now.  When he straightened, he looked up at the other man.  Benedict didn’t think it was possible, but Tom had managed it: his gaze was even icier than before.

“Icepack.   _Now.”_

The man didn’t have to be told twice.  He turned, and hurried out of the room.

“What  _is_ all this commotion?” a voice asked.

They turned to see another man.  This one wore a black turtleneck, with a black blazer over it, and black slacks. He was a bit older, with a bald head.

“Just a little bit of a scuffle”, Benedict said.  

The bald man looked down at the dead agent.  “Oh dear…Ben will be upset when he finds that the carpet’s being ruined.” He looked outside, and gestured; four other men came to take the body away.  He looked up, seeing Tom standing defensively beside the bed, and the woman lying unconscious in it.

“Hmm.  Fascinating.” The bald man looked to Tom.  “Ben wants a debriefing on what you had gathered from SHIELD.”

Tom nodded stiffly.  “He’ll have it.”

“Come, Mark, let’s have ourselves a drink, and leave Tom to his…whatever he calls it”, Benedict said, clapping Mark, the bald man, on the back.  

Mark chuckled, and followed Benedict out of the room.  

Tom looked down at her unconscious form.  He felt no remorse for gunning down the man who’d harmed her.  

He moved around the side of the bed slowly, his eyes never leaving her.  He lifted his hand, and traced his fingertips down her soft cheek.  

After he got the ice pack that the other agent finally got for him, he gingerly lifted her head and placed the ice pack under it.  He then, equally as gingerly, laid her head on it over the bump. After that, his hand very slowly moved over her face, traveling downward slowly before he got to her feet to gently remove her shoes, and set them down neatly beside the bed for when she woke. When that was done, he lay down next to her for a while, just watching her sleep.  

He scowled when a head poked in.

“Mr. Kingsley would like your report”, the man said.

“Fine”, Tom replied tersely.  

The head quickly disappeared back from where it came.

Tom sighed, and moved to gently kiss her lips.  

“I will return”, he whispered.

Moving off the bed, he gave her unconscious form one more look before leaving the room.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Her head was pounding.  

She whimpered as she lifted her hands to put them on her throbbing temples. The most pain came from the back of her head.  She slowly moved her fingers to feel around, and winced at the tenderness there.  But she felt that the spot was also cold.

“You have my sincerest apologies for the rough way you were handled”, a smooth voice said.

She gasped and snapped her head around; a bad idea, as it made her head throb worse.

“Please, take these.  They will get rid of your headache.”

She opened her eyes, slowly, and saw a man in a white tuxedo.  He was an older man, bald, with a thin moustache. He was holding out two pills in one hand, and a glass of water.

She eyed him warily, but the pain in her head demanded relief, so she took the pills and swallowed them with the water, not taking her eyes off him.

“Where am I?” she asked.

“Somewhere safe”, he said, smiling benignly.

“Why am I here?”

“Because one of my best brought you here.”

She scowled.  “What could you  _possibly_ have had to offer him that made him agree to become one of your goons?” she asked.

The man in the white suit’s smile widened.  “An interesting question”, he said.  “Oh, please, do forgive me, I’m being rude.  My name is Ben Kingsley.  Welcome, Miss Creedy.”

“How d’you do”, she said while eyeing him warily.  

“I’m sure you’re absolutely famished”, he said, offering his hand. “And we are nothing if not good hosts. Are you hungry?”

“I don’t have much of an appetite when my head is pounding, to be honest”, she said.  

“Hmm…why don’t I take you on a tour”, Ben said.  “Perhaps when the medicine does its work, you will be able to eat something.”  That benign smile never left his face.

She looked at him warily before slowly sliding off the bed.  She winced as her feet hit the icy floor.  The rug did nothing to curb the chill, so she quickly slid her feet into her shoes.  

“Come”, he said, offering his arm.  

Deciding that learning the layout of the place for future reference couldn’t hurt, she took it and allowed him to lead her out.  

He led her through the grounds, showing her the different wings of the building.  Training rooms, shooting galleries, gyms; all things that would probably be found in the SHIELD headquarters, and organizations of the like.  After a while, she was led to a cafeteria, where she was sat down so she could eat something.  Her headache had disappeared, thankfully, but it was hard to eat while a hundred or so HYDRA Agents were staring at you as if you were a mildly interesting experiment.

“You had asked what we had to offer Agent Hiddleston to get him to join us”, Ben said, stopping in front of a door about a half an hour later. “Instead of telling you, I think it would be better if I showed you.”  He opened the door, and she blinked at what was inside.

There were two chairs that looked like something out of a dentist’s office, although the equipment looked a lot more menacing.  In one of them sat the selfsame Agent that Ben had been talking about.

He was reclining in the chair.  His eyes were closed, and all sorts of electrodes were plastered on his forehead.  The wires were connected to a computer; it looked like it was scanning his brainwaves. There were techs analyzing the data, along with other Agents standing guard.

“Agent Hiddleston is giving his debriefing”, Ben explained.  “Much more efficient than oral debriefings, and much quicker and thorough.”

She barely felt Ben’s hand on her shoulder before she was shoved forward. She was grabbed by the two Agents and dragged to the chair.  A moment later, she found herself in it, and bands locked around her wrists and ankles.

Her breathing became labored in her panic, trying to wriggle her way out despite knowing it was useless.  

It was that moment that Agent Hiddleston’s eyes fluttered, then opened.

He looked to his right, and upon seeing Selenna strapped to the chair, he sat up with a scowl.

“Ben…” he growled warningly.

“Now now, I assure you that she will walk away from this little exercise in one piece”, Ben said with a dismissive wave of his hand.  “I am merely satisfying her request for information.”

This didn’t pacify the Agent, who snarled and went to stand, but the bands clamped around his own wrists and ankles.  

Selenna was still trying to struggle when a tech came up to her with an injector gun.  An Agent was forced to grab her head and hold her down so the tech could inject something into her neck.  Judging by her instant sluggishness, it must have been some sort of sedative.  Her struggles became weaker and weaker until she couldn’t move anymore; her entire body felt like rubber, which gave another tech time to start sticking the electrodes to her forehead.  She instinctively turned her head, fearfully looking at Tom just before her eyes slid shut.  

Tom had managed to escape his confines before he too was subdued and sedated. His eyes blazed coldly at Ben as the drug made its way through his system.  He looked at her, gritting his teeth at her fear just before his own closed. One thought went through his head before he went under:

**He will pay.**

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_She didn’t know how she got here. One moment, she was sitting in a chair with sedative coursing through her veins and electrodes being stuck to her head, and the next she was here._

_She was in the passenger seat of a very expensive looking car, which was speeding through the streets.  The traffic was light, enabling the driver to weave through it expertly._

_Upon looking, she noticed that the driver was none other than Tom._

_“Where are you taking me?” she asked._

_Tom ignored her._

_She scowled at him.  “After everything, you’re ignoring me??” she asked._

_Tom continued to keep his intense gaze fixed on the road.  Hs jaw clenched as he reached for the stick shift, shifting gears and forcing the car to surge forward at greater speed.  Tension radiated from every inch of his body._

_She yelped, hanging on for dear life. “The LEAST you could do is answer me”, she said._

_He still didn’t reply. ****_

_“TOM!!” she barked, going to grab his sleeve…_

_Only to find that her hand went right through him.  She tried again; the same result.  Waving a hand in front of his face did nothing to distract his vision._

_Her mind worked fast; the chair, the electrodes, the sedative, Tom still hooked up to the machine next to her… Ben’s voice echoed through her mind._

**_‘Instead of telling you, I think it would be better if I showed you.’_ **

_It made sense now.  Because he’d still been hooked up to the computer when she was put under, she realized that their minds were now somehow connected._

**_She was seeing inside Tom’s head._   ** _It was why he couldn’t see, hear or feel her._

_Blinking, she took a deep breath, and sat back into the seat, having no choice but to let…whatever this was play out._

_This was… **wrong.** A person’s thoughts, no matter how curious one was to know them, were supposed to remain their own, away from another’s prying eyes.  With this sort of technology in HYDRA’S hands…she was terrified of the implications.  If they had this, **what else did they have?**_

_She didn’t know how long they drove. He wound through the streets until the city fell away, and countryside replaced it._

_After about fifteen minutes, he turned onto a gravel path that led up to a huge house.  The massive house itself looked like it was about three or four stories high, with marble pillars flanking its entrance atop a large marble staircase._

**_‘Of course’,_ ** _she thought in disgust as she looked up at the palatial house. **‘Money.  It’s always about fucking money, isn’t it??’**_

_She had to admit, though, that this fantasy seemed to be extraordinarily thought out.  Then again, when one has a lot of time to think about it, whatever fantasy one could think up could very well become as elaborate as this fantasy apparently was._

_The car slid to a stop in front of the staircase before Tom cut the engine off.  A flick of his fingers undid the seatbelt and he hopped out._

_She climbed out behind him before he slammed the door closed, and followed him up the stairs._

_Once inside, Tom didn’t even wait for the door to close and lock itself before making a beeline straight for the stairs.  She had to jog to keep up with him as he ascended the stairs, taking two at a time._

_When she got to the top of the landing, she followed him down a long hallway to the door at its end._

_Tom stopped, taking a long, deep breath before going through it._

_She slipped into the room behind him and looked around._

_The bedroom was enormous; the quintessential rich person’s bedroom, complete with fireplace, huge walk in closet, opulent vanity, and enormous four poster bed._

_Which someone was now sleeping in._

_She didn’t know who it was, and quite frankly she didn’t want to know, because the body in the bed, covered only with a sheet, was decidedly female.  She couldn’t see the woman’s face, because from her shoulders up was obscured by dark shadow._

_The woman in the bed shifted with a soft moan, turning onto her back.  Her left hand was now resting on her stomach.  The light from the full moon outside shone down on a huge, glittering rock on her ring finger, with a gold band resting just below it._

_Tom stood by the bed, just watching the woman sleep.  He stood there for a few minutes before moving to toe off his shoes.  He didn’t bother with the rest of his clothes; he just crawled over the woman and moved her hand to settle atop her with a soft growl._

_“Hmm…” the woman mumbled.  “Hard day?”_

_Tom’s only answer was a gruff._

_“Oh, my poor darling”, the woman said, running her hands through his hair as he buried his face in her breasts. Her legs moved to wrap around him._

_Selenna tried so hard to tamp down the pangs of hurt she felt upon seeing him snuggling with the woman like this, but she wasn’t very successful.  But at the same time, she felt compelled to watch as his hands slid over the woman’s sheet covered body._

_The woman in the bed gasped when he gripped the sheet and moved off her only to yank it away from her.  He buried his face in her breasts again, grasping and molding them in his palms.  He dragged his mouth, teeth and tongue over the supple flesh before his mouth latched onto a nipple._

_Memories of their time in the cabin ran through Selenna’s mind, and the memory of the feeling of his hands and mouth made her insides tingle._

_The woman giggled, her fingers tickling over his scalp and the back of his neck.  Tom’s hands disappeared between them.  He fiddled with what must have been his belt buckle, and after a moment, he heaved his hips forward._

_She cried out, and met his driving thrusts with her own hips, her thighs opening as wide as they could go to accommodate him as best she could._

_His mouth released her nipple to bury his head in her neck.  He groaned, and suddenly sat up.  He shifted his body and pulled her to him so that she was laid out before him, nestled in the cradle of his hips.  His thrusts never slackened in their pace as he gripped her hips.  He gritted his teeth, baring them as her small hands slid up the front of his body over his shirt.  Her fingers curled into the fabric and ripped it open, revealing the undershirt beneath.  Her hands delved underneath the undershirt, her hips jerking when his fingers found her throbbing nub and pressing down._

_She shrieked, her body bowing upwards as she came.  A few hard thrusts later, he was following her in bliss._

_His body sagged, panting hard as he gazed down at the woman.  His hands caressed the woman’s skin, which was shining with a thin sheen of sweat. The woman, in turn, hummed as she reached up to cradle his face.  Her head and shoulders were still obscured from view…_

_That was, until he gently scooped her up to hold her against him._

_Selenna’s knees went weak, collapsing in a chair.  Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head._

_Her own face was gazing down at him from the woman’s perch in Tom’s arms._

_She watched as Tom’s Version of Selenna cradled his face, and rubbed her nose against his._

_“That bad?” she cooed softly, stroking his cheek and peering at him in concern._

_He still didn’t say a word.  All he did was turn his face into her touch, kissing her palm with a deep sigh.  The tension that she’d seen in his body before in the car was completely gone now._

_TVOS wrapped herself around him, crooning soothingly, while his fingers ran through her long, sex-tousled hair._

_“My poor darling”, she repeated, pressing feather light kisses all over his face.  She squeaked as he gripped her bottom, holding her body to him.  He still hadn’t removed himself from her, seemingly preferring to keep their bodies united.  After a few moments, Tom finally spoke._

_“All I could think of today was coming home to you”, he murmured quietly._

_“Well…you’re home now”, she said, kissing him gently.  “You look like you could use a nice, hot bath.”_

_“No”, he gruffed, his arms tightening around her.  “Wanna stay here.”_

_She sighed gently, nodding._

_“All right.”  She moved to peer at him.  “Let’s at least get these clothes off. I’ll fix the buttons in the morning.”_

_She helped him to divest of his clothing, his blazer flying one way, his destroyed shirt flying another way, his socks and trousers flying in yet another.  There was much teasing and tickling and giggling._

_When he was finally naked, she cradled his face again to gaze at him._

_“There we are”, she said, kissing him gently.  “Much better.”_

_He sighed, holding her close and burying his face in her chest._

_She wrapped her arms around him again, running her fingers through his hair._

_The last thing that Selenna remembered was being almost blinded by a shaft of light that reflected off the diamond on that ring._

_That… **engagement ring.**_

****

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

Selenna’s eyes snapped open, and her mouth opened to pull in a great, wheezing gasp. She only noticed that the bindings on the chair had been removed when she slid bonelessly onto the floor.  

She heaved in great gulps of air as she tried to clear her head, because it felt like it had been hooked up to a water hose and filled with hot water. Spots danced in front of her eyes.

Her body jumped when she felt arms wrap around her, and a hand petting her hair.

“Breathe slowly”, Tom’s voice crooned.  It sounded disjointed and far away.  “Don’t force it, or you’ll faint.  Slowly.”

Her body unconsciously took his advice, taking long, slow, and deep breaths.

“An unfortunate and uncomfortable side effect of the Direct Mind Connection”, she heard Ben say.  “Some are able to handle it better than others.  Although, I must commend you, Miss Creedy.  For a first timer, your mind held up extraordinarily well. Others who experienced it were not so lucky.”

When her vision finally cleared, she looked up to see Ben with his arms folded, looking upon them with amusement.

“You’re lucky, Kingsley”, Tom growled.  “Had she been damaged in any way…”

“Benedict told me of your little… _tantrum_ ”, Ben said, more amused than ever.  “But, alas, you _need_ me, Hiddleston.  If I die, then you won’t get what you want.”

Tom gritted his teeth.  He never took his eyes off Ben as he gently helped Selenna to her feet.

“At least, Agent Hiddleston, we know that her mind is strong enough to endure what we need to do”, Ben said, raising an eyebrow.

“You gave her no warning or proper preparation”, Tom barked.  “Her mind could have been irreparably damaged by your little stunt.”

“But it  _wasn’t,_ was it?” Ben said, clapping the younger man on the back.  “Her mind is far stronger than you give it credit for.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it, Kingsley”, Tom growled through gritted teeth.  

“You worry too much, young man”, Ben said with a laugh.  

“Kindly don’t speak of me as if I’m not here, if you please”, Selenna grumbled.

“Forgive us”, Ben said.  “I’m sure you’ve had a long and trying day.  Some real, solid rest is probably best for you right now.  A Direct Mind Connection can be extraordinarily draining, even for the most trained.”

Tom didn’t give him a chance to say anything else, and Selenna felt too weak to resist as Tom guided her to lean against him and led her out of the room. Her legs still felt like rubber, so it was hard for her to walk properly.

It took a bit, but he managed to get her to her rooms, which were now much warmer than they were before.  He sat her down on the bed.  

“How do you feel?” he asked quietly.  

She looked at him resignedly.  “How am I  _supposed_ to feel?” she asked with a sigh.  “Finding out the man who was supposedly protecting me was working for the very bloody agency he was supposedly protecting me from, being kidnapped and kept in the middle of fucking nowhere, pistol whipped, then hooked up to a machine that has the ability to rape someone of their thoughts, and forced to watch someone’s fantasy of all the riches that HYDRA is supposedly going to bestow upon them, only to find that I’M a bloody part of said fantasy, and waking up feeling like I’m hooked up to a water hose that’s filling my head with hot water, and my limbs feeling like rubber…”

She ran a hand through her hair.  “So you tell me, how in the bloody fuck am I  _supposed_ to feel??”

Tom sighed gently.  “I understand your anger…” he began.

“ _No, you don’t”,_ she growled, getting up on shaky legs.  “You don’t know what it feels like to be yanked out of your life for all… _this.”_ She waved her hand around.  “I did not  _ask_ for any of this.  I did not  _ask_ to be ripped out of my life.  I didn’t  _ask_ to be shot at, pushed about and then, and  _this_ is the best part, to sit here to be trussed up and handed over as if I was some sort of fucking  _present.”_   

She clenched her fists at her sides.  “What, am I supposed to stand here wearing nothing but a fucking bow???”

At his suddenly darkening eyes, she lifted a hand.  “Don’t answer that.”  

“Selenna”, he said, slowly walking up to her.  “I need you to listen to me…”  He reached out to grasp her upper arms.

_“No!!”_ she cried, beginning to struggle against him, but her struggles were weak.  “ _I want to go home!! I want my life back!! I don’t ever want to hear about SHIELD or HYDRA again!! AND I DON’T EVER WANT TO LAY MY EYES ON YOU AGAIN, EITHER!!”_

All the frustration, the fear, the anger, and the exhaustion were catching up to her, and before she knew it she was sobbing.  Her struggles ceased and her body leaned into him.

His arms wrapped around her to hold her close, crooning softly while he petted her hair.  

He held her until her sobs tapered off into sniffles.  His hand very gently guided her to look up at him.  Their lips were mere inches apart.  

Gone was the teasing, mocking Tom from before, replaced with tenderness that she didn’t think she had the strength to endure.

“Selenna”, he murmured, stroking her cheek with the backs of his fingers. “ _I need you to trust me.”_

“Trust you??” she asked incredulously.  “After everything…you expect me to  _trust you??”_

“I have only ever protected you, and you know that”, he replied.  His hand dropped only to wrap his arm tightly around her.  “I promise you that I will not let anything happen to you, but you  _must trust me.”_

She shook her head, closing her eyes and trying to turn away from him, but he wouldn’t let her.

“I need you to trust me”, he murmured, rubbing her back.  “I need…I need you…to…to trust…me…”  

Their lips brushed once.  Twice. Three times.  

His lips caught her lower lip, giving it the barest of suckles before releasing it.  

“Hmm…”  

His voice turned into a growl that she could feel deep in his chest.  

**_“I need you…”_ **

She squeaked as his lips finally captured hers properly.  She felt his hands slide down her back to grasp at her shirt and pulling it up out of the waistband of her skirt.  Her own hands were undoing the buttons of his shirt.  

A gasp was pulled from her throat when she was lifted and tossed onto the bed. He hovered over her while he undid her shirt, and when it was done, he attacked her cleavage with his lips and mouth, dropping suckling kisses on the supple flesh.  His hands grasped and squeezed at her lace covered breasts.  

She finally got to remove his black button down, revealing a black undershirt underneath.  She groaned when he used his fingers to teasingly pull down the straps of her bra, then captured a nipple between his lips, sucking and nibbling and flicking at it with his tongue.  

His hands slid down to her thighs where the hem of her skirt was riding up, and slid underneath to tug at her knickers.  He removed himself from her, delighting in her whimper, only to remove the sopping garment before falling on her to devour her other nipple.  

Her hips tilted forward, as if in offering, grinding into the bulge that was straining the front of his trousers.  

He groaned against her flesh, and removed himself again to divest her of the rest of her clothes.  Once that was done, he moved down her body, dropping more suckling kisses on her skin, until he got to that spot that was just  _so wet_ for him.  He wasted no time in shoving his face in between her legs, feasting on every drop she had to offer him.  He had to put his hand on her belly and hold her down, such was the force of her writhing. He growled into her flesh, reaching his tongue as deep as it could go to savor every bit of her.  His thumb slid down her belly to rest on her mound, so his thumb could massage her clit. 

She panted desperately, running her fingers through his hair.  

“T-Tom…” she squeaked.

He growled in response, using her moans and panting as a guide.  His lips curved in a smile against her as her moans grew louder and more desperate until she finally came,  _hard._ He could tell because of how hard her core muscles clenched underneath his hand. He swallowed down every drop greedily.

When she finally calmed, he crawled over her and straightened to remove his undershirt, only to drop and attack her breasts again with his mouth. His hands went to his belt buckle and frantically undid his trousers, which had become painfully tight.  

She groaned dazedly when she felt his mouth on her breasts again, then moved up her neck, over her jaw to her lips.  She moved to wrap her legs around his waist, but his hands on her thighs stopped her.  She barely had the time to register this fact before she realized why.  

He gripped her legs and quickly flipped her over onto her belly, and lifted her hips into the position which, he’d realized early on, was the most pleasurable for her.  He bent at the waist so his front was against her back, and gripped his straining shaft to guide himself inside.  He bore down until the head popped inside her wet heat, and groaned as he slid all the way in.  

She cried out when his hips began to move in long, hard strokes.  Her hips wriggled ever so slightly while her inner muscles rippled on his length, earning a choked groan from him.  His lips moved over her neck and shoulder as his thrusts increased in speed and intensity, relishing in how she gripped him so delightfully.  

He moved his hips ever so slightly before thrusting inward at  _just_ the right angle, forcing her to shriek into her pillow.  

Her hips bucked back into him with every one of his inward thrusts as he hit her inner sweet spot over and over again.  His hand moved between her legs to rub at her clit again, making her orgasm gush over him.  

He rode her mercilessly over and over and over again, in any position he could think of.  

After the…the…bugger, she couldn’t remember how many times…she lay on her back, panting in little squeaks.  He lay next to her, taking her hand and pressing kisses to her wrist and forearm. She bit her lip, peeking over at him; something was nagging at her.

“Tom”, she murmured.

“Hmm” he mumbled, his lips moving over her pulse point.  

“You…you didn’t…”

“I know”, he said.  

Her eyes moved over his form, and noticed that he was still hard as a rock.

“It was about your pleasure and comfort, not mine.”

“But.-“

“Sleep now.  Don’t worry about me.”

But she wasn’t about to let it go.  

So she moved so she was straddling him and slowly sank down onto him.

He growled, gripping her hips as she started to roll her hips back and forth, forth and back.  She purposely clamped her inner muscles down on him as she moved.  

“C-come”, she panted as she moved her hips faster.

He gritted his teeth as he looked up at her with blazing eyes.  

“Come”, she hissed through gritted teeth.  

He tried  _so hard_ to hold back, but when she reached behind her to grasp the orbs at the base and gently squeezed them, he couldn’t hold back anymore.  He roared as he thrust upward into her, spurting agonizingly long and hard into her body.  His fingers found her clit and rubbed hard, forcing her to come at the same time he did.

Her head fell back as her body convulsed around him, riding out her orgasm until her body finally sagged, falling forward atop him.  

“Satisfied?” he rumbled softly.

“Hmm”, she mumbled, nodding weakly.

He kissed her forehead with a sigh as he moved to grasp the sheets to cover them both.  

“Sleep”, he said.  

“Hmm…”

He looked to her only to notice that she already had.  With a sigh, he kissed her forehead again and followed her in slumber.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The morning found Tom rising early, reluctantly unwrapping himself from her sleeping form.  He ensured she was properly tucked in before moving about to bathe and dress.  He gathered her clothes and put them in to be washed; there was an extensive wardrobe here for her to choose from so she wouldn’t be stuck in the same clothes.  

He went through the closets and picked out something that she would be comfortable in, and laid them out for her for when she woke.  After that, he secured her breakfast.  She was going to need the energy for what was going to happen.

He gritted his teeth as he stepped out of her room.  He  _really did not_ like the method in which it was going to happen, but unfortunately, it had to be done.  

“Is it ready?” Tom asked when he stepped into the room.

“It is”, Ben said serenely.  He peered at the young man.  “Can you assure me that you will not interfere?”

“It’s not like I have a choice”, Tom spat.  

Ben raised an eyebrow at him.  He turned to one of the guards.  

“Kindly fetch the young lady”, he said.

The guard left the room.

“I meant what I said”, Tom said, looking at Ben evenly.  

“I heard you the first time”, Ben said dismissively, looking over all the panels and screens in front of him.  

*~*~*~*~*~*

Selenna hummed, rubbing her eyes and reaching over to feel an empty bed beside her.  Her eyes opened as she sat up, blinking blearily.  

Clothes had been laid out for her: a grey singlet and a pair of matching drawstring pajama bottoms.  Her own clothes were nowhere in sight.  Outside, the snow was still swirling.

She slid from the bed, holding the sheets to her body, and grabbed the clothes that had been provided for her and headed for the bathroom.  

A quick shower later, and she was dressed and sitting on the messy bed, drying her hair when the knock came.  

The guard came in, looking at her evenly.  

“I’m to fetch you”, he said, coming up to her and gripping her upper arm.

“I can stand and walk by myself, thanks”, she sneered, yanking her arm out of his grip.  

She padded in bare feet behind him, reluctantly allowing him to lead her…wherever it was he was leading her.  

After about five minutes, they got to a door.  The guard opened it, and gestured her inside.

More reluctantly still, she slowly stepped into the room, where she was immediately grabbed by two techs.  

In the room was another chair, a lot like the one she and Tom had been in the day before, but it looked different.  It reminded her of one of those salon chairs with the hair dryer hood, only this hood had wires connected to electrodes.  

She struggled as much as she could, but she was dragged to the chair and firmly strapped down.  

Looking up, she saw that there was a window, and there were people on the other side.  More techs were sitting behind computer screens, and Ben was standing behind them, watching the proceedings with his hand behind his back.  

And Tom.

“Miss Creedy”, Ben said over the intercom, smiling benignly.  “I do hope you slept well.”

“What do you want from me??” she cried, trying to struggle against her bindings. “I don’t know anything…”

“You’ve had an inhibitor implanted in your brain, Miss Creedy. That inhibitor has set up a block in your mind.  Since it would be far more damaging to you to remove the inhibitor itself, we must work around it.”

“I…I don’t have an inhibitor”, she said, tossing her head to try to keep the techs from putting the electrodes on her forehead; they had already put some on her chest and the crook of her arm. Unfortunately, her bindings kept her from moving too much.

“Just relax as much as you can, Miss Creedy”, Ben said.  

Tears began to form in her eyes.  “But I don’t  _know_ anything useful…I’ve never been involved with SHIELD…”

“Let’s begin”, Ben said.  “The sooner we start, the sooner it can end.  I must warn you, Miss Creedy, that this will not be a quick procedure.  In order for us to properly erode the block, it will take multiple sessions.”  

“No…please…don’t…” she whimpered.

She swung her eyes to Tom, who was standing by the window.  His eyes were tortured, his jaw clenched, and he was clenching his fists so hard that his knuckles were white.

She heard the humming of the machine as it powered up.  When it started, she began to scream.

Pain.  Pain unlike anything she’d ever felt before ripped through her head, making her whole body lock up.  

She opened her watering eyes to see Tom, who had turned to Ben and was barking something at him.  Due to the pounding in her ears, she couldn’t hear him.

“I never once said it would be painless”, Ben said in response to whatever it was that Tom said.

Tom could only stand by helplessly, while she was screaming and writhing in agony in that bloody chair.  

“Blood pressure elevated”, a tech said.  “Heart rate increasing.”

“Keep me posted”, Ben said.  

Tom shoved Ben aside, away from the intercom.  “Selenna, I need you to concentrate on my voice”, Tom said, bracing his palm on the glass.  “Keep your breathing even…relax your body.”

“Y-you promised”, she whimpered in between screams.  “Y-you  _promised…”_

Tom gritted his teeth, angry at the fact that there was nothing he could do to help her.

“Can’t you give her  _anything_ for the pain??” he barked.

“No, we can’t”, the tech replied.  “Painkillers will alter her mind, and we can’t properly remove the block with her mind altered.”

Tom growled.

Seconds turned to minutes.  Minutes turned to hours.  And her screams had not abated.

“Inhibitor functionality registering at 93.8%”, the tech said, after a torturous six hours.

“We’ll stop here for today”, Ben said.  “Power down.”

The hum of the machine started to quiet, and as soon as it was off, Tom nearly ripped the door off its hinges.

Selenna’s body was shaking hard, an inhuman sounding groan coming from her throat.  The pain was still resonating in her head, sapping all of her energy, so she didn’t even resist when Tom ripped off the restraints and gingerly picked her up.  

“Don’t…” she croaked.

“I’m taking you back to your room”, he murmured, carrying her out.  

She barely registered the journey back to her room.  She felt herself being set down on a soft bed a few minutes later.

Tom had the room cleaned up while they were ‘busy’, so she was now lying on clean sheets.  He removed his shoes, and lay down next to her.  

“No…” she groaned, weakly pushing at him.  Her body was still shaking, although not as much as before.

“It’s all right”, he murmured, gently rubbing her arm.  “Rest, and I’ll have some hot broth brought up for you.”

“No”, she groaned again, turning on her side, away from him, and curling into a ball.  “No food.”

“You need something in your system”, he said, scooting to spoon up against her.  He resumed rubbing her arm gently.  “Something light so it doesn’t weigh down your stomach.”

She didn’t reply.  She just stayed curled up in her ball.  

Tom sighed, he pressed a gentle kiss to her bare shoulder before moving off the bed, ensuring he moved gently so not to jostle her too much.  

“I’ll be back”, he murmured after putting his shoes back on.  He left the room.

“I told you what would happen, Kingsley”, Tom growled, storming into his lab.

“As I’ve said before, never once did I say the procedure would be painless”, Ben said, raising an eyebrow at him.  “And now that the procedure has gone underway, it needs to be seen through to completion.  An inhibitor that’s not at full capacity, if left too long, can cause irreparable damage.”

If Ben listened carefully, he could hear Tom’s teeth gnashing together.

“If you’re so concerned with Miss Creedy’s welfare”, Ben said, eyeing him knowingly, “Then you will do what you must to prepare her for her next session. Now, if you’ll excuse me, there is other work to be done.”

Tom was shoved out of his lab.  He stood there, stewing for a moment before he stormed to the cafeteria.

*~*~*~*~*~*

“Here”, he murmured, after helping Selenna to sit up.  He put the spoon to her lips.  “Clear broth, with some dry toast.”

She was too weak to argue, accepting the spoonful of broth.  

He slowly fed her the broth and dry toast.  “They’re going to bring you back there tomorrow, so I’ll do my best to prepare you.”

“Again??” she squeaked pitifully.  “T-tomorrow??”

“An inhibitor not at full capacity can cause permanent damage if left in”, he said with a weary sigh.  “And there’s nothing that they can give you for the pain, so the best thing I can do for you is to help you prepare.”

“No”, she whimpered, shaking her head.  “No, I can’t…You  _promised_ me that you wouldn’t let anything happen…”

He put the now empty bowl aside, and very gently cradled her face to guide her to look at him.  “You  _can”,_ he murmured.  “And yes, I did promise.  I wouldn’t have let them start if I knew it caused you  _that_ much pain.   **But…I didn’t _know.”_**

She ran a hand through her hair, and her hand flopped back into her lap.  Her muscles were still twitching.  

His hand slid over hers, curling his fingers around it and gently squeezing it.

He did his best to give her instructions on how to time her breathing, and how to keep her body relaxed during the procedures.  After a few hours, he watched her yawn, and slide down into the covers.  

“So tired…” she mumbled.  

“Sleep”, he said.  

She barely heard him, because she was already asleep.

He removed his clothes and slid in bed behind her, spooning up against her.

*~*~*~*~*~*

And thus it began.  Day after day, she endured excruciating sessions, and no amount of preparation that Tom coached her in helped her with the pain.  Afterwards, she could barely eat, because if she tried anything other than the broth, it would merely make a reappearance.  She couldn’t even eat very much broth.  As a result, she became thinner, and her cheeks hollowed out, and dark circles appeared under her sunken in eyes. The sessions seemed to take more and more of her strength.  

The pain never completely abated.

Tom, after every session, would take care of her tenderly.  He would feed her, help her to bathe, use the loo, and anything else she needed.  

It was two weeks later that she was awoken for another session.  She could barely move on her own anymore, so it was a distraught Tom who helped her dress, and led her to Ben’s lab.  

“Ah, Miss Creedy, I hope you slept well”, Ben said, like he did every time she was brought in.  

She didn’t answer.  She was helped into the chair; the bindings were unnecessary anymore because she didn’t have the strength to move on her own.  Once in the chair, Tom stroked her forehead, and pressed a kiss to it before he was pulled back.  

“No more”, she croaked pathetically as the electrodes were being pasted to her head.  “Please…no more…”

“We’re almost there, Miss Creedy, the ordeal is almost over”, Ben said soothingly.  “If things go according to plan, this could very well be the last session.”

Tom’s eyes glared at Ben, the message very clear:   ** _It better be._**   He was pulled into the control room by a tech as the machine powered up.

She didn’t even have enough in her to scream anymore.  All she could do was groan as the pain shot through her head again.

“Inhibitor functionality reading at 7.15%”, the lead tech said.  “Vital signs are stable.”

“Increase power by 3.6% at 6 second intervals”, Ben said.  

“Increasing power”, the Lead tech said, slowly turning a dial.  

Selenna’s muscles began to twitch at the increased intensity of the machine, which in turn intensified the pain.  

Throughout the entire time, she felt as if something in her head was being scraped away, layer by layer.  These layers were releasing fleeting images of… _something._ Every time she tried to recall an image, it was gone just as quickly before she could even make out what it was.  

More time ticked by in agony.  She had long since stopped trying to keep track of time during these sessions, but from what she understood, each one took around six hours.  

“Inhibitor functionality at .3%”, the Lead Tech said.  “Vital signs are elevated, but not to critical levels.”

“Almost there, Selenna… _almost there”,_ Tom said into the intercom.  “Hold on just a little bit longer…”

“.01%”, the Lead tech said.  

Selenna groaned after that much anticipated six hour mark, and her entire body went limp.

“Inhibitor functionality neutralized”, the Lead Tech said.  

Tom was watching her intently, his entire body tense and his eyes never leaving her.  

After a few moments, her eyelids fluttered and opened, taking in her surroundings. When she finally saw Tom, she blinked.

“T-Tom?” she squeaked.  

To Tom’s horror, before she could say another word, her eyes rolled in the back of her head and her body began to buck and jerk in the chair.

“Her vitals are spiking!!” the Tech said as an ominous sounding beeping came from the console.  “Heart rate 220 over 60!!”

Techs were running into the room with various medical equipment, but they couldn’t beat Tom.  He ran into the room and reached her first.

“Selenna!!” he roared, grasping her shoulders and shaking her.  “Selenna, concentrate on me!!  Open your eyes and look at me!!”

She didn’t make a sound.  Her body continued to shake and jerk, forcing the Lead Tech to shove him aside and get to work.  

Tom’s stomach bottomed out on him when he heard the flatline.  

The techs began chest compressions while the Lead Tech got the defibrillator ready.

The Lead Tech ripped her shirt open to place the paddles of the defibrillator on her chest.

_“CLEAR!!”_

She was zapped, her body bowing upwards.  

The flatline continued.  

**_“CLEAR!!”_ **

She was zapped again.  Still nothing.

**_“CLEAR!!”_ **

A third time.  Still nothing.  

Tom could barely breathe as he watched them work on her.  He couldn’t lose her.  He _couldn’t…_

**_NOT NOW…_ **

**_“We have a pulse!!”_ **

*~*~*~*~*~*

Her body felt like lead filled rubber.  

She couldn’t move her arms or legs; maybe if she tried really hard, she could turn her head…

It took her a while, but she managed to turn her head to see a Tom sitting in a chair beside the bed.  He was dozing, resting his cheek on his fist, which was propped up on the arm of the chair.

She tried to open her mouth to speak, but only a croak came out.  

Tom started in the chair, and leaned forward, gingerly grasping at her hand.

“Don’t try to talk just now”, he said, grabbing at a pitcher and filling a glass with water.  He got a straw and stuck it in the glass, holding the end of the straw to her lips. “Sip slowly.”

She sipped at the water, and tried to sit up, but her body just wouldn’t cooperate.  

“Hang on, I’ll get it”, he said.

He put the glass down, and moved over her to wrap his arms around her to help her sit up.  He fixed her pillows so she would be comfortable.  

The first thing she noticed while he did this was that  _the pain was gone._

“How are you feeling?” he asked quietly.

“I can’t even move”, she said, her voice hoarse.  “But other than that…I think with rest and some food, I’ll be all right.”

He nodded and moved to sit on the bed before her.  He took a deep breath, seemingly mentally preparing for something, before he spoke again.  

“What do you remember?”

At that question, tears formed in her eyes.  Because what she had witnessed in his mind through the Direct Mind Connection wasn’t a fantasy as she’d first thought.

**_It was a memory._ **

The memory of that night, and many other nights, mornings and days, had swept through her head so fast after the block was gone that her body couldn’t handle the overload at first; she had supposed that it was a miracle she survived.

The morning they first met when she’d bumped into him and accidentally spilled hot coffee all over her new blouse.

Their first date at that little fish-and-chip shop around the corner from his flat after their reservations had been messed up by the restaurant they had originally chosen.

And, most importantly, two years later, the time he took her to that same fish-and-chip shop for an elaborate setup; the setup where he’d asked her to marry him.

Their wedding.

Their wedding  _night._

The honeymoon.

**_Everything._ **

The tears in her eyes were all that Tom needed to know.  He sighed, picking up her hand and kissing the top of it reverently, and holding it to his cheek.  Tears formed in his own eyes.

“I’m sorry”, he whispered.  “Oh God, Sellie, I’m so sorry…I..I didn’t know that that machine would cause you to hurt so much…”

“It’s done”, she murmured.  “No point in dwelling on it.”

“T-they told me you were dead”, he said, finally breaking down.  “The explosion at the restaurant where you worked…they told me that there were no survivors…”  He kissed her hand again.  “They used my grief to hone me into a more efficient weapon.  It was HYDRA that revealed to me that you were still alive.”

She bit her lip in thought.  “I…I was running late that morning”, she said slowly.  “First, my alarm didn’t go off, and then I tried to call you for a ride, but you weren’t answering, so I had to catch a bus. The bus was unforgivably late by around a half an hour.  By the time I got to work, it was rubble.  A man came to me, told me that he was your boss, and that he’d been in the neighborhood…He was going to bring me to you so you would make sure I was all right.”  

“My boss?” he asked.

“Grant Ward, I think he said his name was.”

Tom gritted his teeth.  

“And the last thing I remember before waking up in New York was a pain in the back of my neck…Before I blacked out, he’d gotten on his phone and I think he was talking to someone named John Garret, because I saw the name on his phone screen.”

“Let me see”, Tom said, moving to see.  He gingerly sifted through her hair…

There.  A small scar at the base of her skull.  Probably where the inhibitor had been implanted.

“Before you found me in New York, I was handed a card by a lovely gentleman and his beautiful companion.  He was trying to warn me about a rogue agent, and to call him if that rogue agent ever came knocking.  I can only assume he meant you.”

The rage in Tom’s veins only increased with each word she spoke.  So…it wasn’t SHIELD that hid the fact that she was alive and placed that inhibitor in her head as he’d been led to believe.

It had been HYDRA all along.

“Grant…Ward…was the one who had told me what happened at the restaurant”, Tom said quietly.  He looked up at her.  “Who was this man and woman who came to see you before I did?”

“Phil Coulson, I think his name was…and her name was Melinda May.”

Tom gritted this teeth.  

“Something I don’t understand”, Selenna said.  “If they wanted to hide me so well, why didn’t they give me a completely different name?”

“That, I do not know”, he said.  

“Because, dear Thomas”, an amused voice said from behind them, “I was the one who handled it all.”

They both turned to find a grinning Benedict.  

Tom stood, his hand on his gun.  

“Oh honestly”, Ben said, rolling his eyes.  He pressed a button on his watch.  

“You lot can come in now”, he said into it.  

Very suddenly, very bright lights were shone into the windows, and they heard the sound of choppers approaching.  

Tom dove to close the drapes, because Selenna groaned and buried her head into the pillows.  Tom looked at Benedict with narrowed eyes.  

“I expect Mark is giving them the tour”, Benedict said with a shrug.  He eyed the two who were blinking at him.  “Oh, do forgive me…Agent Benedict Cumberbatch of SHIELD, at your service.”  He bowed at them.  

There were yelling voices running through the hallways, and Benedict went to the door to allow someone in who’d knocked.  

“About time, you lot”, Benedict said.  

The woman who’d just walked in, Selenna recognized.  “Miss May”, she said.

“Agent May”, she corrected.

“Agent, sorry.”

May turned to Benedict.  “Why did you wait so long???” she barked.  

“Because there was a procedure of a very delicate nature taking place”, he replied.  “I could not chance everyone storming in before it was completed.”  

“We could have done it at SHIELD headquarters”, May said.  

“Not this kind”, Benedict said.  “She’d had a special kind of inhibitor implanted into her head.  Only that machine, I’m sure Thomas was told, would be able to neutralize it.”

“Just like HYDRA”, May spat.  “They poison you, then they turn around to sell you the antidote.”

“Indeed”, Benedict said.  

May then turned to Tom.  

He was standing next to the bed, holding Selenna’s hand and looking at May evenly.  

“You have a lot to answer for”, May said.

“I know”, he replied quietly, gently squeezing Selenna’s hand.

Melinda looked at their joined hands.  “But…I think if we explain what happened, we can chalk it up to extenuating circumstances.  I can’t promise anything.”

“It’s a start”, Tom said with a nod.  

He turned and took the bedclothes, wrapping them around Selenna before picking her up.  

“Tom?” she asked.

“What do you need?” Tom replied.

“Food.  Food would be lovely”, she said.

Tom laughed.  “Food you shall have.”

Selenna watched the flurry of activity as she was carried out of the house; hundreds of HYDRA agents were being rounded up.

He carried her into the SHIELD carrier, ignoring everyone who was staring at him as he brought her to an interrogation room that was made over into a private bunk by a lovely woman named Simmons.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Time passed, and Selenna’s appetite came back in spades.  With Simmons, another Agent named Skye, and a man named Fitz, along with Tom’s unwavering support, she was returned to full health.  Tom, on the other hand, had somehow escaped punishment.  She suspected that Benedict had something to do with it.  

One evening found her just out of a shower, and wearing a pair of pajamas that May had provided for her.  She was brushing her dried hair when she felt fingertips sliding up and down her bare arms.

“Hmm”, she hummed, leaning back against him.  She tilted her head to give access to the lips that were moving lazily over her pulse point.  

Her hands moved behind her to rub at the all too obvious bulge that was poking her in the back.  

“D’you think they’re watching?” she asked.

“Couldn’t tell you that”, he said, moving his hand up her shirt to grasp her breast.  

“Hmm.”

She slid down off the bed, and knelt between his legs.  She peeled down the waist of his pajama bottoms, letting his hardness free.  

She didn’t say a word as she licked up the underside, causing him to hiss, before she wrapped her lips around the head.  

“Fuck, Sellie…”

She hummed around him as his fingers threaded through her hair.  Her head began to bob up and down, creating a hard vacuum, making him groan.  

He did his best not to thrust into her mouth, although the way she was sucking him it was a very difficult thing.  

She sucked harder and harder, relishing in his moans.  She wanted him to come, and  _quickly,_ so she moved her fingers behind the orbs at the base and pressed down on his perineum.

He choked, his thighs stiffening as his seed spurted out of him and into her waiting mouth.  She sucked down every drop eagerly.

He gazed down at her with bright eyes, and, to her delight,  _he was still hard._

She yelped when she was yanked up and tossed onto the bed.  Her clothes were all but ripped off, and his mouth attached to her breasts.  

Tom was always a breast man; she’d waken up, many times, to find him idly squeezing and playing with them.

He growled against her flesh as his finger found her clit and began to rub it. Releasing his mouth from her breasts, he moved upwards to her lips to capture them with his as he slid into her. He wasted no time and started to shove his hips forward.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, eagerly meeting his savage thrusts as his hand gave her breasts a hearty squeeze.  

“Tom”, she squeaked.  “ _Please…”_

He growled, finding her clit again and rubbing it harder.  “My Sellie”, he panted.  “ _Mine…”_

“Yes…god…yes, yours…all yours…”

He growled again, moving his hips in harder and faster strokes.  

Her release came quickly, and he followed her in bliss.  It had been so quick, and yet, at the same time, so therapeutic.

All the grief, all the despair, all the pain…it was all gone now.  

They snuggled into their bunk, with Tom pulling the covers over them.  

“Tom?” she murmured, resting her head on his chest

“Hmm?” he asked, kissing her forehead.

She peeked up at him.

“Does this mean that we get to go home now?”

Tom was quiet for a few moments.

“Yes, Sellie Bean”, he murmured.  “I guess so.”


End file.
